Are You Building a Brick Wall Around Your Heart?

We have all been there at one time or another. We’ve just had our hearts broken and we decide that we will never fall in love again. We tend to do this by building a fortress made of bricks, barbed wire, and a few ferocious creatures standing guard. After all, it does sound like a logical thing to do, right? How can you get your heart broken if you don’t let anyone in? Of course if this is your course of action, you may find that after some time, you’ll be feeling pretty lonely. However, instead of building an impenetrable force field around your heart, the following tips can help you let down that wall and let the love in.


1. Make an Effort

If you want to truly let love back into your life, you have to put in some effort. It is easy to keep your heart whole by either pushing them away when they get too close, or not even allowing them to get close at all. It will be a challenge, but you will have to step out of that protective comfort zone you’ve built and start interacting with people. Be open with others (to an extent of course) and be open minded. Try not to be stand-offish or defensive when it comes to these social interactions. Even if there is no connections made, it will feel good to meet someone new.

2. Believe in Yourself

When we build walls around ourselves, we are so deeply hurt that some little piece of us believe we deserve the hurt or that we deserve to be alone and unloved. That is not true! While no one deserves to get hurt, the truth is it is going to be unavoidable. Let’s face it, relationships do not always last forever and someone is bound to get their heart broken. If that heart is yours, it does not mean that you are a failure in the relationship or that you are undeserving of someone’s companionship. You have to remind yourself that that person was not the one for you, but there is someone out there for you. It sounds cheesy, but it’s true. Out of the six billion people on this planet, you are not going to be alone for ever—that is if you keep believing that your time is coming.

3. Take a Leap of Faith

Suppose you’ve finally met someone that you have an interest in. You may have been talking every so often and they have expressed an interest in taking you out on a date. This is your chance to take a leap of faith and go for it. In order to love again, those walls will have to come down sometime; and when they do come down, it will probably leave you feeling uncomfortable, vulnerable, and maybe even terrified. Just take a deep breath and relax. When you resign yourself to being open and making an effort to find love (or let it find you), the experience could be quite rewarding.

4. Love Yourself

One of the most important things about loving someone new is learning to love yourself first. Relationships usually are much more fulfilling when each individual realizes how special they are and love themselves. After all, how can you love someone else if you do not truly love yourself? Chances are that when you do some self-discovery and reflection, you will begin to love the person that you are. As you do that, those walls will come down on their own.