Lucy Cavendish: “I never would have…”

Two years ago, Lucy Cavendish went through a break up. Today, she recounts some of the positive experiences that take place after the end of a relationship. Find out what can we learn from Lucy’s experience, and what we can bring into a new romantic situation.

Lucy

This is my first blog ever for Love Begins At (LBA) and it is very exciting. This is because life is exciting. If you had told me a decade ago that I would be aged 47 and a single mother of four children, I would have thought you were mad. I was very settled in my life. From the outside it looked idyllic – lovely house, lovely children, happy couple, together-forever.

But…as we all know…things change and however painful that is, in the end we all have to move forwards. My relationship broke up two years ago and since then I have done a whole host of things I have never done before. In fact, I am living a more exciting life now than I have done for decades and that’s despite having a full and busy life. My levels of energy are higher than ever. I go out. I see friends. I meet new people. I challenge myself.

How to restarting your life

It wasn’t always that way. For the first few months I felt terrible. I couldn’t imagine life on my own. I was convinced I would never meet anyone else ever again. At the time that seemed the most important thing.

But, after the first couple of months when the pain had lessened (slightly), I decided I had to restart my life. I came to the realisation that, if I was on my own, I’d better make the most of it. So I made a list of all the things I wanted to do that I couldn’t do while I still lived with my ex. One of them was to learn to ski. I always wanted to learn to ski ever since I spent a day out walking in the sunshine in the hills above my house on the day it had snowed. It was the most glorious day. I saw my footsteps in front and behind me. But my ex hated the cold and the snow so we never went to the Alps. I was determined to do it though so a year after we separated, I found myself on my 46th birthday standing on the top of a mountain and ski-ing down it. The sense of triumph and freedom was liberating.

Embrace your possibilities

I have also spent a month in Italy doing a road trip with my children. I had always wanted to do that too and we careered from a water park near Gallipoli to Lecce and onwards. I have abseiled down a railway bridge, spent an evening chanting with some yogis in London and been on a tour of Mumbai.

There are so many possibilities out there. During this last two years, I have also met many men, some have become friends. I have had the occasional fling. I even dated someone for a bit but….all this to come. What I have learned though is to enjoy life – be kind, be honest and take some time out to have some fun.

About Lucy Cavendish

Lucy Cavendish is a successful journalist and mother of four living in Oxfordshire. She writes for the Times, the Guardian, and the Daily Mail.