Lucy Cavendish: “I never would have…”

Two years ago, Lucy Cavendish went through a break up. Today, she recounts some of the positive experiences that take place after the end of a relationship. Find out what can we learn from Lucy’s experience, and what we can bring into a new romantic situation.


This is my first blog ever for Love Begins At (LBA) and it is very exciting. This is because life is exciting. If you had told me a decade ago that I would be aged 47 and a single mother of four children, I would have thought you were mad. I was very settled in my life. From the outside it looked idyllic – lovely house, lovely children, happy couple, together-forever.

But…as we all know…things change and however painful that is, in the end we all have to move forwards. My relationship broke up two years ago and since then I have done a whole host of things I have never done before. In fact, I am living a more exciting life now than I have done for decades and that’s despite having a full and busy life. My levels of energy are higher than ever. I go out. I see friends. I meet new people. I challenge myself.

How to restarting your life

It wasn’t always that way. For the first few months I felt terrible. I couldn’t imagine life on my own. I was convinced I would never meet anyone else ever again. At the time that seemed the most important thing.

But, after the first couple of months when the pain had lessened (slightly), I decided I had to restart my life. I came to the realisation that, if I was on my own, I’d better make the most of it. So I made a list of all the things I wanted to do that I couldn’t do while I still lived with my ex. One of them was to learn to ski. I always wanted to learn to ski ever since I spent a day out walking in the sunshine in the hills above my house on the day it had snowed. It was the most glorious day. I saw my footsteps in front and behind me. But my ex hated the cold and the snow so we never went to the Alps. I was determined to do it though so a year after we separated, I found myself on my 46th birthday standing on the top of a mountain and ski-ing down it. The sense of triumph and freedom was liberating.

Embrace your possibilities

I have also spent a month in Italy doing a road trip with my children. I had always wanted to do that too and we careered from a water park near Gallipoli to Lecce and onwards. I have abseiled down a railway bridge, spent an evening chanting with some yogis in London and been on a tour of Mumbai.

There are so many possibilities out there. During this last two years, I have also met many men, some have become friends. I have had the occasional fling. I even dated someone for a bit but….all this to come. What I have learned though is to enjoy life – be kind, be honest and take some time out to have some fun.

About Lucy Cavendish

Lucy Cavendish is a successful journalist and mother of four living in Oxfordshire. She writes for the Times, the Guardian, and the Daily Mail.