By Andy Moore
‘Karen: Why do you keep saying the same thing?
Granddad: Umm – because I’m old.
Karen: Well, Mummy always says the same thing. Is that because she’s old?
Granddad: What does she say to you?
Karen: She says ‘Grow up, stop being silly.’
Granddad: She says that to you?
Karen: No, she says that to Dad. ‘
They’re priceless aren’t they? Those comical yet teeth-clenching clangers that kids can blurt out anytime or anywhere without warning. The exchange above, and other comical anecdotes are from BBC TV programme, Outnumbered, a series that may strike a chord with parents.
Think after speaking?
If you’re 45 plus and have nippers, you may well understand how controversial quips can easily burst forth from our little darlings. Their minds can be a runaway train of thoughts that go beyond the buffers of what us boring adults usually manage to censor before opening our mouths.
Furthermore, if you or your date has children, then hopefully there will come a time to introduce kids to the mix if the encounter goes well. However, there’s no telling what may slip out from those imaginative brains, unshackled from the chains of social etiquette.
As a dad myself, I recoiled on a bus one time when my four-year-old son enthusiastically enquired: ‘Dad, why’s that woman got no hair?’ Ouch! Fortunately, the fellow passenger didn’t hear the remark, especially as she was actually a he…
Does above situation sound familiar as an over-45 parent? If so, why notshare some on our Facebook page? Meanwhile, here’s another ‘mini me’ exchange from Outnumbered:
Jake: ‘What’s that?
Pete (dad): It’s just a letter from the hospital. Instructions about my colonoscopy.
Karen: Is that where they chop off the top of your brain to make you behave better?
Pete: (dad) That’s a lobotomy.
Karen: Oh. Miss Lyons said Ben could do with one of those.’
What do children think of dating?
So what perception do our beloved kids have of the world of adult online dating? Even at a ripe auld age, dating in your mid-forties can be as equally as nerve-raking as a teenagers asking each other out. Here are a few funny children’s views on relationships and dating from Kidquote.kett.net
What do most people do on a date?
“On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.”
“Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.”
What would you do on a first date that was turning sour?
I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
But adults are not so innocent, you know.
We’ve all encountered that daft great uncle, forthright grandfather or tenacious great aunt who may say the first thing that comes off the top of their heads.
Here are five showstopper remarks from Prince Phillip who is infamous for putting his feet in it:
1. He apparently made a 13-year-old boy cry telling him he would have to lose weight to become an astronaut.
2. In 1994 he asked someone from the Cayman Islands whether he was ‘descended from pirates’.
3. Knowing that Madonna was singing the Die Another Day theme tune in 2002, he retorted: ‘Are we going to need ear plugs?’
4. Talking with a Scottish driving instructor, he famously equipped: ‘How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?’
5. My favourite: In 2003, he remarked to a robed president of Nigeria, Olusegun Obasanjo: ‘You look like you’re ready for bed.’
Sharing is caring…
Has your mini me come out with any faux pas? How about your date who has children? If so, please drop us a note in the comments box below.